You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
