I CAN MOONWALK!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
