Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize