i just google imaged poop.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
