Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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