like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
