Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
