to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
