I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
