How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
wanna go halves on a baby?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
