I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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