So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
