I faked an abortion last night.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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