I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
