i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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