Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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