he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
