i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
