i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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