i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
