And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
