just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
