The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
