Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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