That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
