all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
