brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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