I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
