You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
