Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
