We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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