she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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