I want to walk on stilts...naked
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
