did you get engaged???
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
