She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
