his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
