That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
so let's talk penis.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
