If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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