Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
