everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
