ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
