I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
