he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
