That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
