are you still at the devil's house?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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