He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
