Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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