shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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