So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
