I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
