i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
