Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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