I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
worst night to have a conscience
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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