I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
