do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
