I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
