Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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