Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize